THE FIRST DUINO ELEGY Who, though I cry aloud, would hear me in the angel orders? And should my plea ascend, were I gathered to the glory of some incandescent heart, my own faint flame of being would fail for the glare. Beauty is as close to terror as we can well endure. Angels would not condescend to damn our meagre souls. That is why they awe and why they terrify us so. Every angel is terrible! And so I constrain myself and swallow the deep, dark music of my own impassioned plea. Oh, to whom can we turn in the hour of need? Neither angel nor man. Even animals know that we are not at home here. We see so little of what is clearly visible to them. For us there is only a tree on a hillside, which we can memorize, or yesterday's sidewalks, or a habit which discovered us, found us comfortable and moved in. O and night...the night! Wind of the infinite blowing away all faces. Within our solitude appears a nearly lovely god or goddess, all the heart is ever apt to meet. Lovers fare no better, concealing, by their love, each other's destiny. Do you still not understand? Pour your emptiness into the breeze- the birds may soar more swiftly for it. Yes, springtime needed you! The very stars, row on row, sparkled for your attention. From bygone days a wave rolled or a violin yielded itself as you wandered by some open window. These were your instructions. But what could you do- distracted, as you were, by all of that significance?- as though each signpost pointed on beyond itself towards something higher yet: a mere prelude to The Beloved! (Where would you find room to keep such a one, in amongst those vast, weird thoughts, always coming and going, often spending the night?) Sing, in your lovelorn longing, of the losers. Make their dark fame glisten. Sing of those whom you are nearly moved to envy in the purity of their despair: hearts more loving in their pain than many never broken. Sing again-and yet again- your altogether insufficient praise of them. The hero lives! His ruin is but a pretext to be born again. Depleted Nature calls her lovers back into her bosom, as though she had not strength to fashion them anew. Have you yet sung the bold grief of Gaspara Stampa so poignently that another girl, likewise spurned in love, might be moved to similar transcending passion? Is it not time these ancient seeds of pain put forth a flower?...time that, lovingly, we free ourselves from lovers?... time we fit ourselves, quivering like an arrow to its bowstring, enduring tension with the prospect of flight exceeding the limits of the feathered shaft, the string, the very bow which looses it? Nowhere may we remain. Voices, Voices! Hear, my heart, as only the holy hear, lifted from Earth by celestial command but taking no notice, so perfect is their listening. You could not bear to hear the voice of God. Not that, no... but perhaps attend the ceaseless murmer of silence: the vespers of the untimely dead, borne upon the wind... the whispers of the children who haunted that cathedral in Naples- the church in Rome... the injunction discovered on a tombstone last year at Santa Maria Formosa. All they ask: "Weep no more for us! Your tears muddy the path of our ascent." Strange to be no more of Earth. To quit half learned habits. To view roses and their kind no more in human terms. To be no more a babe in arms that ever fear to drop you. To leave the name you are known by like a child leaves a broken toy. Strange to desire nothing. Strange to watch the known world dissolve. Death is very difficult. Lost time is painfully reconstructed until the struggle yields some slight glimmer of eternity. The living are mistaken in their distinctions- angels often do not know whether they walk among the quick or the dead. So 'tis said. The storm of eternity roars; all voices drown in its thunder. Children who have gone do not require us. Weaned, they need no mother's breast. Our joys and sorrows don't concern them. But we, for whom the mysteries are golden, still unsolved, our very sustenance- can we exist without them? Grief is our spirit's fodder. Remember the Lament for Linos: how the first shaft of song shot through barren air carving a sudden vacuum in the astonished space where godlike youth forever vanished, leaving only a melody, which is our sole comfort and enchantment.