There's nothing sexy about the people on TV. 
Sometimes, he kind of likes the things they say,
which is to say,
he likes the writing. He's in love with the writers.
He only like words.

Sometimes he worries about his parents
the fact they'll never have grandchildren
because his brother is weird –
twenty-seven and teaching volleyball at an all-girls Catholic school.
His sister is married, but they're a lot alike.
She and her husband spend all their money
on books and food, and vacations in Europe.
And he only like words. 

Which isn't to say he doesn't understand the attraction.
He likes to see couples, likes it when on the news,
ridiculous animals somehow become friends.
Snake refuses to devour hamster! 
Hippo won't stop following giant tortoise around! 
Who wants to be alone for the rest of their life?
He gets that.

I tell him he needs a beard anyway.
People don't respect you if you tell them
you never use your dick.