GUIDE TO DEALING WITH DEMONS (unfinished) Rule #1 of dealing with demons: don't.

Much like dentistry or traditional ethnic dancing, this realm of activity, once entered, can never truly be left. It is noted down on a scroll of human flesh and passed around the underworld with your photo, so that all the minor devils and imps may snigger at it. This wasn't always so, but the world of business is very big on paperwork.

"War is hell," they used to say, and that's still true, especially in nations that aren't rich, paranoid, and/or fanatic enough to have nuclear weapons. Pestilence and famine are hell, too. But times change. Men started scraping the mold off their bread and curing diseases, that sort of thing. This century is run by money again, but not gold: rather, the systems, the global complexity, the lying, and the haphazard shedding of morals along the road paved with good intentions.

War is hell, and Hell is war. In suits.

Their gold is red as your blood and clear as your tears. They'll pay in tricks and transient material gain for what amounts to stock in your soul. They may not get it all, but what they miss, humans may lose with or without help from fellow businessmen. Or they'll simply cripple you, the better to let you do their job for them by hurting others.

The customer is always right.

Rule #2: if you must, only deal once.

They will never name a truly repugnant price unless they're trying to manipulate you, or think you're truly desperate enough to agree. Gone are the days of ruling all of Asia Minor, in exchange for your soul. Now, demons seek to establish longterm relationships with humans. Keep them coming back, chip away little bits of soul each time. Customer service is so important, but they have so many customers. It is possible to get away with it, if you keep your nose clean and your head low and genuinely desire to be forgiven alone in cold chapels at night.

If you only deal once.

Rule #3: opt for the contract.

It might seem silly, but there are rules. As with any other business agreement, you will want to read everything thoroughly, perhaps with an open-minded lawyer. Note down any discrepancies. Find something to negotiate over. Exert what power you have now, because you won't have any later.


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